First things first, a stay at home mom is a career. One to be held at a high value.
Since the age of 16 I have had a job, pulled in some sort of income and been a contributing individual to a household. Whether it be my parents, my own as i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t woman, as a spouse and lastly as a mother. This my friends was one of the hardest adjustments for me to deal with when transitioning as a career woman to a SAHM. When those pay checks stopped I started feeling like those dinner and drink dates with girl friends needed to stop. Was it really fair for me to be going out by myself and spending my husbands hard-earned money? Was it ok for me to go to the mall and buy that $150 coat? I mean its marked down from $250 and I need it, right? Or did I need to actually put that $150 towards my credit card? I felt guilty for doing all the things that I did before because it was no longer with any money that I was helping contribute to. It was all money that my husband was earning. Uh, oh! Was I going to have to stop doing all the things that I did before without even thinking twice about? Did I need to ask permission to go to dinner with a friend? To make a personal purchase? I was seriously having these thoughts, people! Was MY personal spending mmaayyybbbeeee a little outta control at points? Sure. Could I get it a little more in check because we had lost my income? Sure. Did I need to stop having dinner dates? Never shop again? Begin to devalue myself and think as myself as an un-contributing member of society. ABSOLUTELY not. By becoming a stay at home mom I am saving my family approximately $28,000/yr daycare expenses. Yep, that's right, folks. $28,000. Have I bore an army? Nope that's just to send 2 kids to daycare a year; 2 kids!?!?! It's insane! That, however, seems to be the going rate these days. By staying at home I also begin to see a significant decrease in the overall amount of money that we were spending on food. Stay with me here for a moment. In my working there was many a day that I didn't get home until 5 or after. The same went for my husband. By this point both of my kids were hungry (you would have thought starving) and cranky. I had worked a long day and the last thing I wanted to listen to were cranky kids. Same went for my husband. So, unless I was really on the ball for the week there were at least 2-3 nights a week that we went to the local Mexican joint or ordered pizza because it was quick and easy. Honestly, I think I am going easy on myself here. If I were being honest it were probably more like 3-4 nights a week that we ended up eating out and 2-3 nights a week that we ate at home. It's a shame. Why is that a shame? Well, for a couple reasons. 1) Eating out is ridiculously expensive. For our family of four it is at least $20 every time we go out. And I am being VERY generous with this dollar figure. Many a times when we went out we would go to our local Mexican restaurant and we would spend more like $40. So, assume we go out 3-4 times a week we are looking at spending anywhere from $60-$120/week just on take-out. You can do that math. That's a S@*% ton of money in a month and way more money over the course of a year. 2.) Eating out is unhealthy. Most things at least, especially with children. I mean how often do children, young children, request to go grab a salad? Let's just be honest here. If you are eating out with young children most of the time they are being fed empty calories. In other words, they are eating a bunch of crap.
Now lets talk grocery bill. In addition to the obnoxious amount of money we were spending out there are the lovely neighborhood grocer bills. Those range anywhere from $400-$700/month. That included all of my household toiletry items and often frivolous items that I would grab at Target that I often didn't need but just got for the heck of it. Anyhow, add that all up and we were looking at spending anywhere from $640- $1180/month on food. I know it may seem nuts to say I am nearly 100% positive that we spent close to that $1180 that I have quoted almost every month. My husband can vouch that when it comes right down to it I am very good at organizing and budgeting and hind site 20/20 I would say often we may have exceeded that amount. Ugh. Often makes me feel sick to think about it. As a SAHM, I am able to nightly prepare meals at home. Yes, that's right, nightly.
I have the time to meal plan. I make the time to meal plan and it saves us a butt load of money. It probably would save us even more money if I would eat leftovers (because I always seem to cook enough money for two entire meals), but I don't often do leftovers. I need to work on freezer pleazer meals or define my art of preparing just the right portion of food to feed the four of us. Stay tuned for a blog on that topic to come.
So, in closure you are saving your family money and making them healthier. Those are both wins in my book.
THE ABSOLUTE MUSTS FOR MOMMY SURVIVAL:
1. Get out of the house and shower.
I know it seems as though I am stating the obvious here, but it needs to be stated. And all the SAHMs said, "Amen." When your kids are wild enough to shoot at sometimes the idea of just hiding out at home sounds nice.......or does it? In the beginning I tried this a couple time and literally think I looked like Nicholson from "The Shining". Please, just take my word for it and don't do it. The best thing we do is get out of the house everyday. It is built into our daily schedule and we try desperately to make sure it happens everyday. This doesn't have to be an elaborate outing in which we spend money daily and make memories that are filling up my iPhone. A couple hours is sufficient enough time frame to break up the day and we do simple, things most days. What types of activities do we do? Do we do? Haha. I made a rhyme. That was super cheesy, I know.
Visit relatives that are retired and also home during the day, check out the local library for story times and activities, join a mommy group in your area (mine is an absolute GOD SEND), walk around the mall and check out the play place there for awhile, take a tour of a local pet shop ("mini zoo"), go to the park, run an errand....need I continue.
Those are just the list of things we do that are free. If you are really feeling like super mom take your kids to an indoor playground that you actually pay for, trampoline park, to the movies or enroll them in a weekly activity like dance or karate! Then you really rock!
Whatever the case, just don't sit in the house constantly. You and your kids will be thankful that you got up, moving, out and about!
Getting out and about also encourages us to get out of our jammies and into real clothing. Is this actually a struggle some days? Yup. There is the occasional day when you are stuck in the house for the day. Like if your kids wakes up puking. Those days are super! When it's 11:30 and you are still in pajama pants with boogers, or flour from homemade pot pies, or sometimes as gross as it may sound a combination....it is time to stop and take a shower.
Once again (only because it is so important), get out of the house (daily if possible) and shower (daily if possible). The simple things in life may save you.
2. Make a schedule with your kids and try (*try*) to stick to it.
Kids are creatures of habit and LOVE a routine. I know some moms are not the "routine" type of people and that's totally ok. I get it. Trust me. There are plenty of times that I am like a chicken with my head cut off, but I absolutely love a routine now that I have gotten my kids on one. I won't bore you with all the specifics of our schedule. I'll save that for another blog and if you are interested you can read it. All I will say is that, every child is different and what works for one won't always work for another.
3. Be your own judge of happiness!
When I began telling people I was going to start staying at home many peoples reaction was an apprehensive grin. I could almost see the wheels turning in their brains. Could I truly handle the life of a SAHM? Yes, I can. You can, too. Just as many other people in career fields vent to one another, support each other and network it is important for SAHMs to do the same. You are not alone in your daily challenges. When your toddler is crying because she can't get her arm through the arm hole of her shirt or because she has spilled her milk for the second, or third time at breakfast, remember all the sacrifices that you are making for the good of your family! I am more exhausted than I ever was as an "employed" woman, but I also feel more fulfilled, grateful and thankful than I ever have in my life. I feel no shame in getting lost in time playing dress-up with my girls. They are my job. I am confident that the degree of reward that I feel from this job will not soon lose it's merit. So, grin and bear it on the hard days. There will be many more good than bad. Days when you will teach them how to spell their name. Days when you will teach them how to read their first sentence. Days when you will teach them how to pedal a bike. It is ALL worth it!
Since the age of 16 I have had a job, pulled in some sort of income and been a contributing individual to a household. Whether it be my parents, my own as i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t woman, as a spouse and lastly as a mother. This my friends was one of the hardest adjustments for me to deal with when transitioning as a career woman to a SAHM. When those pay checks stopped I started feeling like those dinner and drink dates with girl friends needed to stop. Was it really fair for me to be going out by myself and spending my husbands hard-earned money? Was it ok for me to go to the mall and buy that $150 coat? I mean its marked down from $250 and I need it, right? Or did I need to actually put that $150 towards my credit card? I felt guilty for doing all the things that I did before because it was no longer with any money that I was helping contribute to. It was all money that my husband was earning. Uh, oh! Was I going to have to stop doing all the things that I did before without even thinking twice about? Did I need to ask permission to go to dinner with a friend? To make a personal purchase? I was seriously having these thoughts, people! Was MY personal spending mmaayyybbbeeee a little outta control at points? Sure. Could I get it a little more in check because we had lost my income? Sure. Did I need to stop having dinner dates? Never shop again? Begin to devalue myself and think as myself as an un-contributing member of society. ABSOLUTELY not. By becoming a stay at home mom I am saving my family approximately $28,000/yr daycare expenses. Yep, that's right, folks. $28,000. Have I bore an army? Nope that's just to send 2 kids to daycare a year; 2 kids!?!?! It's insane! That, however, seems to be the going rate these days. By staying at home I also begin to see a significant decrease in the overall amount of money that we were spending on food. Stay with me here for a moment. In my working there was many a day that I didn't get home until 5 or after. The same went for my husband. By this point both of my kids were hungry (you would have thought starving) and cranky. I had worked a long day and the last thing I wanted to listen to were cranky kids. Same went for my husband. So, unless I was really on the ball for the week there were at least 2-3 nights a week that we went to the local Mexican joint or ordered pizza because it was quick and easy. Honestly, I think I am going easy on myself here. If I were being honest it were probably more like 3-4 nights a week that we ended up eating out and 2-3 nights a week that we ate at home. It's a shame. Why is that a shame? Well, for a couple reasons. 1) Eating out is ridiculously expensive. For our family of four it is at least $20 every time we go out. And I am being VERY generous with this dollar figure. Many a times when we went out we would go to our local Mexican restaurant and we would spend more like $40. So, assume we go out 3-4 times a week we are looking at spending anywhere from $60-$120/week just on take-out. You can do that math. That's a S@*% ton of money in a month and way more money over the course of a year. 2.) Eating out is unhealthy. Most things at least, especially with children. I mean how often do children, young children, request to go grab a salad? Let's just be honest here. If you are eating out with young children most of the time they are being fed empty calories. In other words, they are eating a bunch of crap.
Now lets talk grocery bill. In addition to the obnoxious amount of money we were spending out there are the lovely neighborhood grocer bills. Those range anywhere from $400-$700/month. That included all of my household toiletry items and often frivolous items that I would grab at Target that I often didn't need but just got for the heck of it. Anyhow, add that all up and we were looking at spending anywhere from $640- $1180/month on food. I know it may seem nuts to say I am nearly 100% positive that we spent close to that $1180 that I have quoted almost every month. My husband can vouch that when it comes right down to it I am very good at organizing and budgeting and hind site 20/20 I would say often we may have exceeded that amount. Ugh. Often makes me feel sick to think about it. As a SAHM, I am able to nightly prepare meals at home. Yes, that's right, nightly.
I have the time to meal plan. I make the time to meal plan and it saves us a butt load of money. It probably would save us even more money if I would eat leftovers (because I always seem to cook enough money for two entire meals), but I don't often do leftovers. I need to work on freezer pleazer meals or define my art of preparing just the right portion of food to feed the four of us. Stay tuned for a blog on that topic to come.
So, in closure you are saving your family money and making them healthier. Those are both wins in my book.
THE ABSOLUTE MUSTS FOR MOMMY SURVIVAL:
1. Get out of the house and shower.
I know it seems as though I am stating the obvious here, but it needs to be stated. And all the SAHMs said, "Amen." When your kids are wild enough to shoot at sometimes the idea of just hiding out at home sounds nice.......or does it? In the beginning I tried this a couple time and literally think I looked like Nicholson from "The Shining". Please, just take my word for it and don't do it. The best thing we do is get out of the house everyday. It is built into our daily schedule and we try desperately to make sure it happens everyday. This doesn't have to be an elaborate outing in which we spend money daily and make memories that are filling up my iPhone. A couple hours is sufficient enough time frame to break up the day and we do simple, things most days. What types of activities do we do? Do we do? Haha. I made a rhyme. That was super cheesy, I know.
Visit relatives that are retired and also home during the day, check out the local library for story times and activities, join a mommy group in your area (mine is an absolute GOD SEND), walk around the mall and check out the play place there for awhile, take a tour of a local pet shop ("mini zoo"), go to the park, run an errand....need I continue.
Those are just the list of things we do that are free. If you are really feeling like super mom take your kids to an indoor playground that you actually pay for, trampoline park, to the movies or enroll them in a weekly activity like dance or karate! Then you really rock!
Whatever the case, just don't sit in the house constantly. You and your kids will be thankful that you got up, moving, out and about!
Getting out and about also encourages us to get out of our jammies and into real clothing. Is this actually a struggle some days? Yup. There is the occasional day when you are stuck in the house for the day. Like if your kids wakes up puking. Those days are super! When it's 11:30 and you are still in pajama pants with boogers, or flour from homemade pot pies, or sometimes as gross as it may sound a combination....it is time to stop and take a shower.
Once again (only because it is so important), get out of the house (daily if possible) and shower (daily if possible). The simple things in life may save you.
2. Make a schedule with your kids and try (*try*) to stick to it.
Kids are creatures of habit and LOVE a routine. I know some moms are not the "routine" type of people and that's totally ok. I get it. Trust me. There are plenty of times that I am like a chicken with my head cut off, but I absolutely love a routine now that I have gotten my kids on one. I won't bore you with all the specifics of our schedule. I'll save that for another blog and if you are interested you can read it. All I will say is that, every child is different and what works for one won't always work for another.
3. Be your own judge of happiness!
When I began telling people I was going to start staying at home many peoples reaction was an apprehensive grin. I could almost see the wheels turning in their brains. Could I truly handle the life of a SAHM? Yes, I can. You can, too. Just as many other people in career fields vent to one another, support each other and network it is important for SAHMs to do the same. You are not alone in your daily challenges. When your toddler is crying because she can't get her arm through the arm hole of her shirt or because she has spilled her milk for the second, or third time at breakfast, remember all the sacrifices that you are making for the good of your family! I am more exhausted than I ever was as an "employed" woman, but I also feel more fulfilled, grateful and thankful than I ever have in my life. I feel no shame in getting lost in time playing dress-up with my girls. They are my job. I am confident that the degree of reward that I feel from this job will not soon lose it's merit. So, grin and bear it on the hard days. There will be many more good than bad. Days when you will teach them how to spell their name. Days when you will teach them how to read their first sentence. Days when you will teach them how to pedal a bike. It is ALL worth it!
Comments
Post a Comment